Pranking the Cullens
by Fran-Marie-Cullen-1918
Summary: Me and my friend pranking the Cullens, please read and review!
1. The Volvo Prank

**A/N Hi there! This is like one of the first one shots I've done, so it's probably rubbish. Anyway this is an idea me and my friend Jen thought up in biology...we have way too much free time. Oh I do not own own any of the Twilight characters...Stephenie Meyer does. Well enjoy!**

Jen walked into the living room and threw herself down on the sofa, while sighing. "I'm bored Fran, we've been in this house for 3 days because of the snow!" she whined.

"You wanna play a practical joke on someone?" Fran not normally the one to suggest such things grinned evilly from the other side of the room, where she was on Farmville.

"Yeah! Who? Ooh can we prank Rachel?" Jen bounced up and down excitedly.

"We pranked Rachel the last time; we need a new victim…" She started scrolling through her Facebook friends. "Ahah! Edward Cullen."

"But he can read our thoughts?" Jen looked confused.

"Remember that song I taught you the other day, the really annoying one?"

"I love that song! But…but…what's that got to do with anything?!" Jen started humming the song, only to have Fran throw a pillow off her.

"WE sing it in our heads then he's not going to know what we are doing!" Fran turned the laptop off and swivelled her chair around, like the villains from James Bond.

"Fran why are you stroking a tin of paint?" Jen asked.

"We are going to paint Edward's Volvo pink, and while you are getting wrong for it, I steal his Vanquish." The evil grin returned to Fran's face.

"You are a genius! Hang on, he might kill me."

"Have you heard how annoying that Bella girl is? He hasn't killed her yet you know with all her 'clumsiness' and 'aversion to presents'!"

"Good point, but you will come back for me right?" Jen smiled hopefully to Fran.

"Of course, who else would I have to prank friends with?"

Evil Plan Stage 1

"I can't believe we managed to sneak in here, I mean I would have thought Alice would have seen us." Jen whispered.

"Well of course she has, but Edward broke her last pair of Louboutins last week and she's still angry. You singing the song?"

"Yep, now let's get to work." Fran and Jen started painting the Volvo as quick as they could. In no time it was bright pink, with daisy stickers on the back of it. Fran started making her way towards the Vanquish when Edward burst through the door.

"Seriously who is singing that stupid song?!" Edward looked really angry; maybe he'll kill Bella, two birds with one stone. Oh I made a funny! Swan is a bird and Bella's last name is Swan…anyway.

"ME!" Jen jumped up from behind the car. "You like the paint job?!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CAR?!" Edward lunged towards Jen.

Evil Plan Stage 2

Fran had managed to hot wire the car, with help from yahoo answers of course! As soon as the engine spurred into life, Edward's head whipped over to the Vanquish.

"Oops." Fran reversed out of the garage, as fast as she could. While Edward was distracted Jen ran and climbed into the car.

"Go! Go! Go! Fran drive like there's a sale on at Toys R' Us!" Jen screamed. Fran accelerated and started making her way down the driveway and down the road leading out of the Cullen Estate. "Fran he's running alongside the car!"

"Don't worry Jen I have a plan!" She started speeding towards the border, and skidded over the line that one of the wolves had drawing in chalk. Edward stopped and swore at them, he must have been working hard because his glitter was running of his face.

"Damn you Jen and Fran!"

**A/N To be continued……. Or not give me 5 reviews and I might just prank another character.**


	2. Pranking Bella

**I do not own any of the characters from Twilight Stephanie Meyer. Well Enjoy and Please Review!!!!:D**

Pranking Bella

Jen and Fran sat staring in amazement at Edward who was throwing a full blown hissy fit on the other side of the line. Thankfully Fran had managed to skid over the line before he had caught them, if she hadn't they would have been vampire snacks by now. Over on the werewolves' side, it was peaceful and tranquil, Quil and Embry were playing hopscotch, and it was amazing. "We have to prank someone else that was so fun!" Jen said while grinning manically.

"We nearly got killed!" Fran was still hyperventilating and clutching the steering wheel of the Vanquish.

"Can we prank Bella?" Jen asked, with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Fine, what do you want to do?" said Fran.

"Can we pay Emmett to tell Bella, that he'll turn her into a vampire, then he turns around and goes actually I'm not!" Jen start bouncing in her seat with excitement.

"Or we could Photoshop a picture of Edward kissing Mike Newton and email it to Bella."

"You have been watching way too much Gossip Girl my friend but…ok!"

Evil Plan Stage One

Fran was on the phone to Rachel, who just happened to be a whiz on Photo Shop. "Yeah, but can you please just do this one picture?" Fran asked Rachel.

"_What are you going to do with it cos' if this is for one of your weird fan sites then I don't wanna be involved…" _Rachel argued.

"I promise its not." Jen sniggered from across the room.

"_Fine, I'll email it to you in one hour."_ Fran closed her phone and walked over to Jen.

"What are you doing?" She tried to look at the laptop screen only to be swatted away.

"You'll see, now make me some pop tarts pronto!" This whole gossip girl thing was going to Jen's head.

Evil Plan Stage Two

"Ok, so I've emailed the photo to Bella, now we just had to wait out in this tree to here her scream!" Fran smiled excitedly, today was finally the day she got to fulfil her destiny of CIA agent.

"Stop daydreaming!" Jen shouted. From inside the room came a blood curdling shriek. Fran and Jen started laughing so hard they nearly fell out of the tree. They listened carefully to the phone conversation that followed.

"_You kissed Mike Newton!" Bella screamed into the phone._

"_No, no I haven't why would I if I liked men I have better taste than that!" Edward shouted back._

"_Oh, so you're admitting that you like boys." _

"_No, I'm not I'm just saying…." Edward spluttered._

"_Yeah, whatever I am so over you."_

Jen snorted while laughing and unfortunately Edward was standing under the tree. "Oops." Jen said while trying to stop laughing.

"RUN!"

**Please Review!!!**


	3. Pranking Rose

**I do not own any of the Twilight characters Stephenie Meyer does.**

Fran and Jen ran to the Vanquish that was parked down the road. Fran searched in her pockets for the keys. "Fran you twinky-twonk open the door!" Jen screamed at her while looking around nervously. They had just slammed the doors shut when Edward appeared; Fran knocked him out of the way and sped off. "OMG you killed someone!" Jen looked shocked.

"He's already dead…duh."

"Ohh good point." They sped over the border to their house.

"Can we prank Rose?" Jen asked looking up from the film she was watching.

"Why. I'm tired Jen I can't feel my legs after last night." Jen sighed.

"Please Franbobsy."

"Urgh what's you plan?" Fran sat down and switched the movie off.

"Well we do the old 'hair dye in shampoo bottle' trick." Jen grinned evilly.

"Perfect…"

Evil Plan 

"Ok so I've switched the shampoo." Jen said.

"I've rigged the i-pod" Fran replied from across the room.

"Now we wait."

Rose stepped out of the bathroom and out of habit looked in the mirror. Her beautiful green hair shone. Hang on green hair…she screamed and smashed the mirror. Fran and Jen tried to control their laughter. Fran pressed the i-pod remote and 'Barbie Girl' blared from the speakers.

"I AM NOT A BARBIE GIRL!!" Rose shrieked. Emmett smashed through the door and burst out laughing.

"Hah hah you look like Medusa!"

"I am not ugly like Medussa!" Rose threw her i-pod at Emmett who continued laughing. "Hang on can you smell that?"

Fran and Jen looked at each other before racing out onto the balcony and shimming down the drain pipe. The ran for a while, until suddenly Ed stepped out from behind a tree.

"Gotcha!"

"UH-oh" Fran and Jen looked at each other.

To be continued….

**Hope you enjoyed it please review...**


	4. Pranking Carlisle

**Sorry for not updating but I have been really busy doing exams and stuff. Anyway I do not own any of these characters Stephenie Meyer does.**

Last time on Pranking the Cullens

_Fran and Jen looked at each other before racing out onto the balcony and shimming down the drain pipe. They ran for a while, until suddenly Ed stepped out from behind a tree._

_"Gotcha!"_

_"UH-oh" Fran and Jen looked at each other._

_To be continued…._

"About time I caught you two, you've been creating trouble ever since you got here!" Edward said angrily while reaching out to grab Fran and Jen. They both ducked out of his way.

"Hey look someone's trying to kill Bella!" Jen shouted, Edward looked into the distance. Fran and Jen took the opportunity to run to their car, just locking the doors when Edward appeared. They started to speed off down the road.

"I'll get you two! Just you wait; you'll pay for making Bella think I was gay!" Edward shouted.

"Hahaha that rhymed!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Shut up, Emmett!" Edward mumbled while walking back into the house.

_Later that day…_

"Fran I'm still bored." Jen whined while playing with the paper aeroplane she had just made.

"No more pranks, I'm sick of running around I think I'll retire." Fran replied while dramatically falling onto the couch and wincing.

"You sat on the T.V remote didn't you?"

"No! Go and prank someone you're annoying me and put that aeroplane in the bin while you're at it!" Jen stood up grabbed her coat and ran for the door.

_The hospital…_

Jen walked through the hospital and started looking for Carlisle, she found him by the reception desk chatting up some nurses. "Wait until I tell Esme!" Jen shouted across the room, Carlisle saw her and panicked. While he was running (at human speed of course) he dropped his stethoscope. Jen picked it up and put super glue onto the ear pieces while chuckling evilly.

_Meanwhile at the house…_

Fran was sitting on the coach flicking through channels when her phone ran. "Hello?" she said expecting it to be Jen asking for a lift somewhere.

"Fran help me!" It was Rachel, sounding unusually stressed.

"If this is one of your 'I'm being murdered' pranks I don't care." Fran said while looking at her nails.

"No I am actually being kidnapped!" Rachel said impatiently.

"Yeah right! What by this time? Some alien bunny? Robert Pattinson?" Fran said sarcastically.

"No by the stupid Cullens…" The phone cut off. Fran grabbed her coat and car keys and made her way to the car.

To be continued…

**A/N Please Review :D**


	5. Pranking Carlisle Part Two

**I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight Saga Stephenie Meyer does. My friend ManicImagination94 wrote part of this chapter so please check out her fic Jaspers Diary its sooo funny. Anyhoo enjoy…:D**

Jen smiled as she watched Carlisle retrieve his stethoscope and she followed him until he stopped at a patient. He was just about to put the stethoscope in his ears when... Jen's phone rang.

"This had better be important." Jen said into her phone.

"Jen! Rachel's been kidnapped!" Fran screamed.

"Good one. By the scary bunny again?" Jen laughed.

"No by the Cullen's! Listen I'm at the Cullen's house now I'll call you back later."

"Damn I missed him throw a fit...oh okay whatever" Jen slapped her phone shut and started laughing at Carlisle.

Cullen House

Fran pulled up outside the house and got out of her car. She was practically knocked out by Emmett running into her. "Hide me," Emmett whispered frantically.

"Why, what have you done now?" Fran said while picking herself up off the ground.

"Well, 'Eddy Sparkly Boys' CD's might have accidentally been smashed by a sledge hammer..." Emmett said while hiding behind Fran.

"You know there's really no point, I'm 5'2" and you're very tall. It's really not going to work." Edward sped around the corner.

"Emmett you stupid oaf!" Edward screamed, yes Edward does scream like a girl.

"Oaf really? Nobody uses that word any more." Fran said.

"Well I am 109 years old you know!" Edward snapped.

"Yeah Eddy no-one uses that word any more." Emmett mocked.

"Its Edward not Eddy and stay out of this Emmett!" Edward jabbed his finger in Emmett's face.

"Its rude to point Eddy!" Fran said, "Now where's Rach?" She demanded while trying to get her phone back off Emmett.

"Who's Jen?" Emmett asked.

"A friend. Why?" Fran asked dubiously. Emmett pressed the call button and started a conversation with Jen.

Back At The Hospital

Jen was still laughing hysterically about the 'Carlisle's stethoscope' trick and was gaining some weird looks from the people in the elevator with her, when the _Bohemian Rhapsody_ started playing out of nowhere. She started singing along and it wasn't until the lines _Easy come easy go, Little high little low _that she realized it was her phone ringing. With a sigh, she fished the phone out of her pocket and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Helloooooo Jen!" An unrecognisable booming voice answered from the other end of the line. Jen took the phone away from her ear and looked at her screen. It was Fran's number.

"Fran? Are you on steroids again?" Jen asked.

"No. It's Emmy-Bear." Oh…

"Where's Fran?"

"You mean the 5'2" midget?" Emmett laughed. "She touched my stuffed unicorn collection so I killed her. Do _you_ think that was wrong?" Emmett said.

Jen jumped out of the elevator and hopped into a taxi to the Cullen's house. "Hold on... Are you being sarcastic?"

"Yes. Yes I am."  
There was a sound from Emmy-Bears side of the line that sounded a lot like someone trying to imitate a ninja attack. Then there was a thud and suddenly Fran was on the other side of the line. "They never see that ninja attack coming." Fran giggled.

"What did you do to Emmett?" Jen asked.

"Oh, nothing he won't recover from." Fran said. "So are you going to come and help me save Rachel or not?"

"Well if you held your horses," Jen said whilst hopping out of the taxi and sneaking up behind Fran and tapping her on the shoulder making her jump three feet in the air. "I'd be here around about now."

Fran hung up her phone. "Was there any need?"

"Did you just hang up on me?!" Jen gasped and looked in disbelief at her mobile's screen that said _Call Disconnected_.

Fran grabbed Jen by the shoulders. "Focus." She said. "We're on a rescuing mission here."

"Oh, so that's why you two are here." Eddy said.

"Oh poopie." Fran said.

"Well you should know we didn't take her." Eddy said, while admiring his pink nail varnish.

"I think you'll find that she told me she was kidnapped by you!" Fran shouted.

"Maybe someone dressed up as us and kidnapped her?" Edward said.

"Yeah right who would want to dress up as you besides I don't think anyone can carry of the glitter and pink nail varnish look as well as you Eddy boy." Jen replied while gesturing to his nail polish.

"Excuse me I can, I invented that look before he had even chosen that shade of nail varnish!" A tall blonde who had appeared from the bush input into the conversation.

"Was that Barbie?" Fran asked while looking at the bush.

"Yeah, she's really let herself go since her and Ken split up." Jen said. Fran shook her head and got back into the serious dramatic mode.

"Well if you guys didn't kidnap her then who did?" Fran inquired putting on her best detective look.

"GUMMY BEARS!" Emmett screamed while looking pleased with himself. This was turning out to be a serious prank war.

**A/N To be continued again…. I know I'm evil mwahahahahhaa *cough cough***

**PLEASE REVIEW :D**


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